NASFIC, DAYS 3 & 4, July 20 & 21

     But I’ll tell you, there’s something really satisfying about beginning with this moment of honesty. It starts things off on the right foot.

    Saturday was two panels. Doctor Who in the morning at 10:00 am. We got an amazingly good crowd. It went really well, probably the best panel after giant monsters. And it was covered in File 770.

     The second panel was Book Covers at 2:00 pm. Good crowd, good conversation. I worried that I might be a little out of my field, but then, I was doing newspaper and magazine production and design back in university, fanzine design, art history auditing, poster design for fringe shows and events, and I’ve got almost thirty books out. And of course, I’m smart. So there I was with real artists and guys who had designed a thousand book covers and keeping up – being insightful, witty and charming,

     Saturday, for some reason, I was exhausted. I kept sneaking back to the hotel room to sleep for an hour at a time. I dunno. Maybe slept badly the night before? Up too late and then too early? I missed Kaffeeklatches with Phil Foglio and Neil Clarke, and a couple of panels. The agents seemed to disappear, or maybe I just had trouble being on that day. Ah, maybe I’m getting old.

I attended the Masquerade. That’s the costume display portion of a convention. It’s funny, I’ve added conventions for thirty years, I don’t think I’ve every been to a Masquerade. Heard about them every single time, glimpsed them. But this time, I sat through one in its entirety.

    I don’t get it. I guess being a Lovecraftian Horror doesn’t equip one to appreciate humans in cosplay… doing… nothing much. Meh.

I sat through the Frank R. Paul Memorial Award. This was spearheaded by Frank Wu who’d been on my Giant Monsters Panel. I normally don’t care about this kind of thing. But Frank spoke passionately and eloquently about Paul, who had been a seminal early science fiction artist. When you love a subject, you can bring it to life, and Frank’s speech was a great example.

    Apart from that, did the parties, didn’t talk as much to people as I wanted it.

    Sunday – only one panel. Marketing at 10:00 am. I’d made a point of finding the moderator and having a chat with him for half an hour the day before, so I had a good handle. It went well. Once again, held my own.

    After that, the pressure was off – hung around the dealers room, chatted with Ira Nayman, visited hospitality rooms, attended panels, played an interactive Star Trek game.

    I, or technically, the panels I was on, where covered twice in File 770, an online blog that seems to be info central for American fandom. I was on the Science Fiction Comics of the 60s. On the good side, they said it was an entertaining panel. On the downside, they got my name wrong, but it’s not their fault – autocorrect got them (it gets me like that all the time, and I know my own name):

    Visited Chris Nigro at his house. Then off to the airport and the chaos produced by the Crosspoint Disaster. Luckily, my flights weren’t cancelled (over 3500 flights cancelled worldwide, the consequent disruptions will continue for at least a month before its back to normal), despite a close call, only delayed a few hours.

    I spent eight hours at airports, but entertained myself riding the moving walkways. I’m easily amused. Actually, I love those things to pieces. A moving sidewalk, that’s straight out of 1930s science fiction, whenever I ride one, I’m catapulted into some kind of Hugo Gernsback / John Campbell / Ray Palmer world of fantastic super science and technology.

    Obviously, I’m easily amused.

    So what’s the bottom line?

    Unless I’m completely delusional (not out of the realm of possibility) I’m really good on Panels – I did eleven, moderated four. Public Domain, Marketing, Book Covers, Artificial Intelligence, Humour in SF, 1960s Comics, Current Television, Giant Monsters, Doctor Who – just a full range from professional issues, to writing technique, to pop culture (itself across a range). I was consistently charismatic, funny, engaging and insightful. Respectful and supportive of my fellow panelists, but never overshadowed. I showed off my books at each, wore my distinctive black suit to establish a visual brand. I think if you added up all the attendances, I was in front of at least half the membership of the Con. I got a lot of compliments on my panels and for my ‘look.’ I’m extremely confident, I can pretty much walk into any kind of panel and rock out.

    In hindsight, I could have done a few things better – mainly self promotion. I had a few books out on stands on every panel, but I had no recent publication, so I didn’t push any particular book. I think, in hindsight, I should have still pitched a particular book hard at every panel, rather than just vaguely mentioning a number of books and titles. And I should have used the end of the panel to pitch again, and to refer people to other panels. But this is just fine tuning.

    On the other hand, I wasn’t terribly good at the parties. I’m not a shmoozer. I talked to people whenever I could. But I didn’t really make any friendships or have any brilliant conversations, the sort where I’d just be amazed and blown away. I did okay socially, but meh. Look, maybe I’m just not that great in a situation where everyone seems to know everyone, and there’s a lot of alcohol involved. I think I’ve got a sense of my strengths and weaknesses, I’m okay with that.

    Professional development? Well only two agents, both from Virginia Kidd. On the positive side – I was on panels with both of them and made very positive impressions. On the other side, they vanished without much chance to follow up in person. There were some small press publishers, but I’m not terribly interested in small press – no disrespect. They just don’t do anything that I can’t do myself, and where I’m weak, marketing, they’re weak. While I pushed my books, that’s not reflected in any significant spike in sales.

   Two observations – I was a little surprised at the attendance. Around 500 people, smaller than I expected.  On the other hand, considering the number of panels I was on, and the attendance, I figure I must have been in front of one half to two thirds of the convention by the end.

    I was struck by the average age of convention goers, including quite a few with mobility issues. There’s a lot of gray. As a group, we sci fi nerds are aging more than we’re recruiting.  Mind you, Anime conventions, or the regular commercial Comic Cons, have huge numbers, and very young crowds. So I guess it’s just this particular subgroup, the traditional fans, that are aging out and being left behind.

   Overall, mixed feelings. I’m glad I went, it was a good experience, had fun, did professional development to the extent possible, refined my skills, and made some kind of mark.

   Having said that, I don’t know that I belong to this community. I don’t feel like I’m part of fandom. I’m sympathetic or empathetic, and not particularly uncomfortable, and it’s not particularly unwelcoming. But it feels more like a vague and polite friendliness on both sides. I’ve brushed with fandom for decades, but I feel that maybe the window for me to be part of this community has passed a long time ago. Maybe that’s a shame – the idea of belonging to a community, to any kind of community, is emotionally powerful to me. Still, I’m happy enough being a friendly, welcome visitor.

    But beyond that, is this really the best use of the time and energy left to me? Does this advance me in terms of the things I want or need to do? Is this worth while? I’m not at all sure.

    Hell, is there even a point to writing these ‘convention diaries’? Honestly, it feels like narcissism. I don’t think I’m that interesting, so who would even care? Is this all part of pretending to be a writer? Or maybe I’m just extroverting my personal journey, not so much caring whether people like it or even it, but simply writing for myself, and leaving it out there.

    It’s something to think about. Right now, I’m making a hard effort. Last year. This year. Probably next year. But as always, it comes down to what I want to achieve with the time remaining to me. Of course the larger existential and career questions that haunt me relate only peripherally to NASFIC.

    It was a good convention, I enjoyed, I liked the people I met, and got to do some interesting things. That’s enough.

    Next stop: When Words Collide in August.