reviews

When Words Collide – Conference Schedule

Well, I’m attending When Words Collide, a literary festival held in Calgary,  Alberta.  And I’ve volunteered to contribute to programming so I’ve got five sessions up.

Friday, August 15 through Sunday, August 17
Volunteering in the Merchant Room
D.G. Valdron books available
* Squad Thirteen
* Starlost Unauthorized
* Drunk Slutty Elf and Zombies.

 

Friday, August 15
1:00 pm to 1:30, Merchant Room
D.G. Valdron and Arlene Marks
Autograph Session

Friday, August 15
2:00 PM Sheraton West Room
D.G. Valdron – Solo Presentation
A Crash Course in Copyright
Just what it says. I’m a lawyer, I kind of deal with this stuff. A run through on all the basic concepts that a writer needs.

Saturday, August 16
4:00 PM – Barlow Room
MODERATOR – Den Valdron. Panelists -Panelists: Marie Powell, Anna Shannon, David Worsick
Accuracy in History, Science, and General Knowledge
When and when not to have it. How far can you ignore it or exalt it in a story before you either bore readers (too much accuracy) or anger readers (too little accuracy).

Sunday, August 17
9:00 AM – Barlow Room
Moderator: Heather Wilkey
Panelists: Denis Valdron, David Worsick, R. Overwater
Alternate History
Explorations of other paths, what to read, what to write, what to research and what to watch out for.

Sunday, August 17
2:00 PM – Sheraton West Room
D.G. Valdron Solo Presentation
A Crash Course in Contracts for Writers
Just what it says – I’m a lawyer, Contracts are my life. I explain the basics and run through the Important Issues.

https://www.whenwordscollide.org/

https://www.whenwordscollide.org/2025-lineup.html

https://whenwordscollide2025.sched.com/grid

SQUAD THIRTEEN – COMING SOON!

LAUNCHING AUGUST 2025 – AVAILABLE AS A PRE-ORDER EXLCUSIVE EBOOK ON AMAZON

SQUAD THIRTEEN: Worse than Death eBook : Valdron, D.G.: Amazon.ca: Books

ALSO AVAILABLE AS A PAPERBACK, AUGUST 2025,

AMAZON, BARNES & NOBLE, KOBO, APPLE AND MANY OTHER PLATFORMS

ORDER YOUR ADVANCE COPY NOW

***

IN THE MEANTIME – HERE’S A TEASER!  SQUAD THIRTEEN PROLOGUE

SQUAD THIRTEEN, Prologue With a Vampire

CAN’T GET ENOUGH?

Squad Thirteen- The Desert, Chapter One

***

WARNING

POTENTIAL TRIGGER ALERTS

Potential Triggers: Horror, Existential Horror, Absence or negation of God/good, Evil as a default state, slashers, zombies, vampires, religious and ethical crisis, destruction of small town virtue, monsters, wendigo, cannibal god hippopotamus, regular hippopotami, cannibalism, suicide, mass murder, spree murder, serial killers, really graphic murder, Ferris wheel atrocity, rain forests, alien invasion, cocaine-based fuel air explosion, firestorm (Dresden style), magic, sorcery, erosion of the self, ghosts, philosophical horror, b-movie horror, slashers, harsh language, the price is right, runaway forest fire obliterates town, factory farm practices, factory farm of humans, failure to rescue a baby in danger, animal cruelty, allusions to Halloween, Friday the Thirteenth, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dead-Alive, Black Christmas, African Queen, Apocalypse Now, Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, Phantasm, Mattel’s Hungry Hungry Hippos, 1970s existential horror, B-movies, one sexually explicit scene, depictions of depression, moral compromise, existential powerlessness, futility, hopelessness, pain, suffering, cancer, self-mutilation, mental illness, fascism, Donald Trump, roccocco, Norman Rockwell, chainsaw biological navigation, some minor nudity and references to consensual sex. Free will, determinism. Religion. Ancient religions. Human sacrifice. [Please note – this list is not exhaustive]

 

PAGE  178 is probably safe to read.

STARLOST UNAUTHORIZED – Now Available

The giant Earthship Ark, drifting through deep space over eight hundred years into the far future, its passengers descendants of the last survivors of the dead planet earth, locked in separate worlds heading for destruction… The Starlost (1973)

Starlost, a Canadian television series, running sixteen episodes in 1973. The premise was interesting – Earth was long gone, the last survivors of humanity had fled in a giant generation ship composed of interlinked domes. But something had gone horribly wrong, an accident had taken out the bridge crew and locked the domes away from each other, and the ship had drifted out of control for four hundred years. Now it was heading on a collision course with a nearby star, and only Devon, Rachel and Garth, three exiles from a rural dome, understood the danger and faced the almost insurmountable task of trying to save what was left of humanity.

Originally, it got off to a great start with names like Harlan Ellison, Ben Bova, Doug Trumbull, Keir Dullea, Walter Koenig and Ursula K. LeGuin attached to it.  But things went wrong – Harlan Ellison threw a tantrum, scripts weren’t ready, the revolutionary special effects system didn’t work. The big names departed, leaving the show in the hands of an inexperienced production crew who had no time, no money and no experience. The verdict was catastrophe, one of the worst series ever produced in the sci fi genre.

But was it?  I just wrote a book saying different.

Read more

STARLOST KICKSTARTER – FINAL WEEK

Starlost Unauthorized by D.G. Valdron — Kickstarter

Hello Boys and Girls and Other, Children of all ages, Sapient beings of any description!  Welcome to my Starlost Kickstarter!

I am thrilled to say, that we exceeded our initial goal in the first week!  We are now into our Stretch Goal of $2000 – $2500.

It’s been a great experience, I want to thank everyone for their support.  But now I want to do the final push. If you’ve pledged support, god bless you, and thank you so much.  I’m not asking you for money.  If you’d like to support, but don’t have money, that’s okay too.  But what I am asking for every single one of you, is to help spread the message, pass the word, email, post, repost this, send it to friends, send it to groups you think might get into it.

This is going to be a hell of a book, I am passionate about it. Help me make it great!

BOOK NEWS – DRUNK SLUTTY ELF AND ZOMBIES

Just a quick note.  DRUNK SLUTTY ELF AND ZOMBIES has been uploaded to IngramSpark.  It can now be ordered from the 40,000 platforms, including thousands of brick and mortar bookstores that IngramSpark spark!

Just a note of explanation – IngramSpark is to print books what Amazon is to Ebooks. They’re a giant publisher and distributor, hosting many titles, and providing services to small and independent publishers.  Getting onto IngramSpark is potentially a major breakthrough.

Does that mean I’ll be getting into real bookstores?  Probably not. The economics don’t quite work.

Basically, physical bookstores operate on a rip and return basis.  They order books, they try to sell them within a specific period of time. If they don’t, then they just rip off the covers, send them back, junk the rest and only pay for what they’ve sold.  Believe it or not, that’s the way it’s been working for a hundred years, and it’s been working fine… mostly. It’s the operating mode for books, magazines and newspapers.  And it works fine for big publishers, dealing in substantial volumes.

Read more

TINY PLASTIC MEN – JUST GO WATCH IT

Tiny Plastic Men scores AMPIA award nominations | National Screen Institute - Canada (NSI)

I’m a horrible person. I freely admit that. But I’m not horrible all the time. I have moments when I’m even okay to be around.

And when those moments happen, you’ll find me searching for the gently quirky, the strange, the oddball. All those hidden treasures and diamonds in the rough we all go blasting past, on our way to our busy lives.

Which brings me to Tiny Plastic Men, a very quirky, very fun little television series that deserves cult status and a lot more attention than it seems to have gotten.

Tiny Plastic Men is about three guys who work in a little independent toy company, Gottfried Brothers. Gottfried isn’t Mattel or Lego, but by God, they’re in there giving it their all, from board games, to action figures, to video games and somehow, they’ve managed to care themselves a niche.

Our heroes are three peons who work in the testing department: Crad, played by Chris Craddock — the everyman of the group, middle aged, divorced, burnt out, anger issues and yet somehow struggling to get by and be a decent person while pining for his boss, for whom he nurses a crush; October, played by Mark Meer, who starts off goth and gets seriously weird, and Addison, played by Matthew Alden, a kind of stereotypical lovable lunk of a manchild. Rounding out the cast are Alexandra Gottfried, played by, Belinda Cornish, daughter of old man Gottfried, and a piranha in a woman’s body, who Crad pines for. Beyond that, there’s a revolving cast of recurring characters.

Given that this is a show about three buddies working as product testers in some second string toy factory, you shouldn’t expect this to be your regular sitcom about people sitting around their apartments or having real jobs in the real world. There’s a basic silliness to the premise, a bit of surrealism, a bit of absurdity, a lot of off the wall stuff. This is not Friends, trust me. It’s not even the Big Bang Theory.

In fact, I don’t think that there’s anything quite like it. The closest I can come to is a sort of Earthbound version of Red Dwarf or perhaps a more insane version of the IT Crowd.

Read more

THE FALL GUY STUMBLES

The Fall Guy: Ryan Gosling & Emily Blunt, Two Forces Of Barbenheimer, Get A Thumbs Up In Test ...

So, I watched the Fall Guy, starring Ryan Gosling, and a bunch of other people I don’t really care about, and I came away … “meh.” Not even “Meh!” Just… “…meh…”

I kind of wondered why. It had all the ingredients. A bankable star, big set pieces, charismatic leads and supporting crew, a story. But oddly, I felt unmoved.

In some ways, I think I was hoping for something akin to “The Stuntman.” If you haven’t seen it, go find it. Basically, the Stunt man is about some shlub, he’s escaping prison or something, and he stumbles into a movie set, and ends up in the middle of some hair raising stunt sequence where he’s scrambling, terrified for his life, as everything goes to hell around him, until suddenly the Director yells ‘cut!’

Seems that the movie has lost a stunt man, he died or something, and our hero is thrown into the wild world of movie making, struggling through ridiculously contrived and impossible stunts, as a Godlike Director harangues everyone. Brilliant film. I want to go watch it now.

Then I think there’s an old Burt Reynolds movie, Hooper (guessing) about a stuntman. In it, Reynolds plays a stunt man, slowly wrecking his body, as he commits to increasingly dangerous stunts, second guessing his life, coping with rivals, trying to build a relationship and struggling with a callous director. I don’t know that it’s briliant, and there’s a lot of Burt Reynold’s being Burt in it. But there’s also something genuine in it, perhaps Burt had some resonance and insight into the tough guy stuntmen doing risky, reckless work that makes it worth a watch. That seemed more affecting than the fall guy.

But this? It just never really engages. For a movie about movie stunts, there’s remarkably little engagement. We never see the intricacies of how stunts are pulled off, the meticulous care going into an effect, the degree of planning, or the degree of genuine risk. We mostly just see stunts. But we know they’re all stunts, even when they’re played for real, so it kind of falls into this uncanny valley of artifice.

Read more

COMING SOON – SQUAD 13

[draft cover by Dean Naday]

SQUAD 13 –  Suppose all those unkillable, masked slashers from the 80s and 90s were rounded up and enlisted into the army as a nightmare squad of unstoppable killing machines. Suppose you used them for problems just as terrifying – vampire infestations, zombie outbreaks, alien invasions, incursions from another dimension, all those supernatural paranormal nightmares. The situation is bad, the Squad goes in and they never leave survivors. Suppose they’re worse than anything they face. Suppose you’re trapped in their nightmare.